When I was a bride-to-be, I made a promise to myself — to be the wife that every man wants but no man has, except for my man — but that quickly became a distant memory, after the “I dos”. I put a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect so that I could have the perfect marriage. I wanted to go to school, work, and come home and prepare meals every night. I wanted to never argue with my husband, and to always treat him like a king. I figured that way we’d always be happy and experience a blissful marriage.
Needless to say, I was devastated when our first argument occurred. I thought it was over, because I had never witnessed my own parents argue. I also had no cooking skills, so I’m not sure why I thought I would suddenly be a great cook after I became a wife. I ruined many a meal before I actually started getting it right. My husband was so supportive too. He sat through every attempt, ate it, and lied to me, saying that it was good. Then, he’d help me clear the table and hide any leftovers in the back of the fridge. I imagine, he prayed I would forget it was in there until it had already gone bad.
I also gained weight, which was a huge blow to my ego. I had always been proud of my figure, and putting on pounds weighed me down emotionally. I say all of this to simply say that I didn’t die. I didn’t manage to maintain a perfect scorecard of no arguments and gourmet meals, but I did manage to build a beautiful home with the man that I love. I have been married for six years and counting, and I am now a pretty good cook. I also have lost weight and I am headed toward my goal.
Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Marriage is unchartered territory. No matter how many married people you speak with, and regardless of how much research you do before you jump the broom, your marriage will definitely be different. Enjoy the journey. Figure out what works for you, and make a happy home that you and your man loves.
What possible misconceptions did/do you have about marriage?
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