After Happily Ever After: What Nobody Ever Tells You About Marriage

When men propose, women usually get so wrapped up in preparing for the wedding. They immediately are surrounded by their female friends and women in their families who are more than happy to jump in and help out. Essentially, the bride-to-be spends nearly a year or more planning and getting used to having people at her beck and call.

Though the wedding is a big deal for most people, there is little or no focus placed on the actual marriage. Outside of the 2-4 marriage counseling sessions that some couples go through before a minister agrees to officiate the ceremony, the heads up on real marital situations doesn’t really exist. The married women in the bunch surrounding the bride-to-be tend to spout off cliche sayings of advice, and the bride-to-be consumes the information, feeling prepared to enter into marriage. So what happens after happily ever after?

  1. The experience of support and attention vanishes. All that help you were getting leading up to the wedding disappears. Everyone has to get back to her life. Single women dream often of being married, and when they finally get their engagement rings and experience people surrounding them, they start to believe that is the way life will be from then on in the Married Women’s Club.
  2. The first couple of years of marriage are hard. If you’re anything like I was, you might think the hard part is over once you’ve finally found the one who proposes. The truth is that marriage is two people working to mesh two personalities, two sets of habits, two upbringings, and two sets of wants and desires. Making that happen can and most likely will be difficult.
  3. The advice that you received before you tied the knot is meaningless. It’s one thing to say “Don’t go to bed angry,” or “Don’t keep score,” but when you are in the heat of marital hardship, those pieces of advice mean nothing. It takes some time before you even understand what those sayings mean, let alone apply them to your marriage.
  4. Marriage is the best thing ever in life! I know I have shared a lot of heavy information, but honestly, when you have chosen your mate and have made a commitment to be together forever, you embark on a journey of ups and downs, and you venture into the unknown. Yes, there are hard times, but the good times outweigh them by a long shot. I wouldn’t trade my husband in for anything in the world! When you choose a good mate, you choose a good life.

I suggest that you surround yourself with godly women who can be real with you. You will need someone to talk to and someone to pray with. Sisterhood is important anyway, but in marriage, you will need a support system. Sometimes, you need a point of view that isn’t your own, so that you can gain some perspective when you’re feeling a little cray cray. Many blessings to you on your journey to happily ever after.

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